I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
