best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
