oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Please don't give away my fajitas
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
