Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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