I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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