Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Your cock deserves a montage
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
