I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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