I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
