but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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