Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
