I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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