Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
