I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
