first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize