You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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