So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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