I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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