when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
