I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
