Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I pour the whiskey from now on
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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