If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
