420 ftw
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
