Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
