I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
