I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
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I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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