After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize