she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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