my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.