what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??