i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My brain says no but my pants say off.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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