Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
