My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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