im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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