I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
