I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
