This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
