it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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