We're facebook friends in real life
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
