My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
