Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
