Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
