the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
