I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
