She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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