Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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