Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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