So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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