are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
