hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
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it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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