Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
