Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
