talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
