I hate all girls vehemently.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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