I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
