Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
