you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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