well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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