U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
