If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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