Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
wow bdsm is so cute
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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