I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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