I think im going to throw up on grandma
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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