the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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