he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
