I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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