remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
